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Author Topic: Smoking cessation on my partner, is it worth doing?? again?
RobertDuns-
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Post Smoking cessation on my partner, is it worth doing?? again?
on: August 6, 2011, 21:34
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By ainecat on September 15, 2010, 07:58:58 PM
Hi All,

I would really appreciate some advice. I qualified as a hypnotist in mid june, full of excitement and bubbling with enthusiasm!! The possibilities i felt were endless of what i could achieve! My daughter aged 12 was having problems with anxiety and after 2 sessions she was transformed and still talks about how much hypnosis helped her, now she goes to the cinema with her friends and goes to birthday parties after avoiding all these things for the lasy years!! anyway this gave me great confidence in myself and i was set to change the world from that point!

Fast forward 2 months and I'm struggling to do up intake forms, brochures and find an office and in this time I have hypnotised my partner 2 times to stop smoking and 3 days later he was back smoking an then i had a friend of a friend who i spent nearly 2 hours with and who seemed to be full of happiness nd relief after the session that she was free but i suspect it didnt work as this friend who introduced me to her friend hasnt been n touch so i feel it must be bad news.

My partner anyway has said he'd like to give the hypnosis a go again and i don't know what to do. The 2nd session i did with him, i spent hours writing and reading over scripts, personalising it to the point that i knew it would work but a few days he was smoking again!! I know the person has to want to stop etc but he swears he does. I'm just afraid of going ahead and then if it fails again how i will feel! My ego is fragile enough as it is and im finding it hard enough to set up my business as it is. i know his friends all know i've 'tried' to 'get him off the cigarettes' already and im sure they now don't have much faith in me. i need a success story under my belt and fast!

I was thinking of regression and that possibly he has a eeper involvement with smoking. His dad was violent and left the family home when he was 5 and he has no real contact with him now but would there be a possibility that he smokes to feel like the man his father was or to feel a connection to him and if so would that mean i would need to use regression to release that thought??
sorry this is such a long post and i hope nobody has entered trance while reading such a long winded question!
thank you for reading and all comments or advice is much appreciated

Aine

RobertDuns-
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Post Re: Smoking cessation on my partner, is it worth doing?? again?
on: August 6, 2011, 21:38
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By RobertDunscomb on September 16, 2010, 01:49:49 PM
Hi Aine,

Let me remind you that when a client succeeds in breaking the cigarette habit, it is his success, not yours. Conversely, when a client does not succeed it is his failure not yours.

As I tell my clients, "no hypnotist has ever made anyone stop smoking, but when you are ready hypnosis can help you quit."

Hypnotist and client are a team, and the team goal is to free the client from the cigarette habit. This may require a little effort. a moderate effort, or a considerable effort on the client's part.

All that is true, but there's another factor as well. In our training, most of us have been cautioned to avoid working with those with whom we would have a dual relationship, that is close friends and family, although young children seem to be an exception. The reason for this caution is that a truly professional
relationship between hypnotist and client is thought to be an essential factor in client success. For this reason you might consider referring your partner to a nearby colleague.

I seem to have specialized in smoking cessation. and most of my clients are successful in a single intensive session. However, if my dear sister, bless her heart, ever decided to quit smoking I wouldn't consider working with her on that even for one second -- that's a role for someone else.

I hope these thoughts help.
Cheers,
Robert

Robert M Dunscomb BCH
robert@hv-hypnosis.com

RobertDuns-
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Post Re: Smoking cessation on my partner, is it worth doing?? again?
on: August 6, 2011, 21:39
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By ainecat on September 17, 2010, 12:46:04 PM
Hi Robert

Thank you for your response, its much appreciated. That is a good line you say "no hypnotist has ever made anyone stop smoking, but when you are ready hypnosis can help you quit." I think maybe i'm putting to much pressure on myself into getting him to stop smoking when really I suppose he probably doesn't want to stop!

I doubt he would ever go to a hypnotist for stopping but it's just now that i am he thought he'd give it a go but like you say he didn't much effort in on his side! I did the session for a man who had smoked from aged 14 to 44 and he stopped after 1 session and 3 months later is still off them and happy to be! So i think i will just focus on that instead!

It's like you say about your sister and how you would never do the smoking cessation on her, I think it's probably best to say away from family and close friends, especially for the smoking cessation anyway, Thanks for taking the time to reply,

take care,
Ainw

RobertDuns-
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Post Re: Smoking cessation on my partner, is it worth doing?? again?
on: August 6, 2011, 21:41
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By RobertDunscomb on September 17, 2010, 12:54:38 PM
Hi Aine,

Just in passing, I've heard some impressive stories of the success mothers have had in working with their own young children. Perhaps that particular dual relationship is an exception.

Cheers,
Robert

Robert M Dunscomb BCH
robert@hv-hypnosis.com

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